Since the infant death of my second child in 2006 I have been battling with depression. Understandable that depression would come with the grief process, but I, and those around me, assumed it would eventually pass as I phase from one part of the process to the next. When my second son, and third born child, Malachi, was around 7 months old I finally sought out help for post-partum depression (PPD) . Then as I felt myself feeling better and getting a handle on my life as a wife and mom, I found out I was pregnant again. With Malachi just 21months old, my fourth child, Marcus, was born. Things began to spiral out of control for me and when Marcus was 7 weeks old I began seeking PPD help again. For the first time in my life I was taking meds, and I wasn't sure how I felt about it. Eventually, I felt better enough and tired enough, literally, from the side effects that I allowed myself (without dr. consent) to take my meds every other day instead of every day. That being said, I pretty much just forgot to take them regularly at all and therefore quit taking them all together.
*DISCLAIMER* I am in no way suggesting anyone change their dosage or quit taking prescribed meds without their doctors consent. That's just how it went for me.
Without my meds I feel fine, not entirely like I remember myself, but close enough. Close enough that family is suprised to find out I'm not on meds anymore. All of this has lead me here because I realized that one major component of the old me is still missing, and that is the acceptance that things could be worse and I must be thankful for what I have. Hence the saying "A Thankful Heart is a Happy Heart". So in 2011 I vow to be grateful for something everyday and this blog is my accountability to that. Here goes....
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